FROM THE AUTHOR

​January 27th
Another ceiling in another hotel room for me to stare up at on another sleepless night. It's the same thing night in and night out, if I'm not away for a game it even happens at home. Unfortunately the walls in this particular hotel aren't that thick and my room is right next to Atsumus, so now I get to add listening to this girl he brought back scream at the top of her lungs for him. Tomorrow he'll be on and on about how he's the man and can make any woman scream his name, never stopping to consider they would scream just as loud for any other Pro Volleyball player they could have talked into spending an evening with them. The endless parade of girls was fun for a while, maybe 22 is too young to be thinking about finding someone worth settling down with, but I'm sick of it. Having someone to spend the night with can be fun, but where's the girl who wants to spend the morning with me? Where's the girl who won't laugh at my jokes when they aren't funny? The one who I feel confident wouldn't settle to fuck literally any one on my team or even the other team. Atsumu thinks I'm overthinking it, but I don't know. At least Hinata is around now, someone I can hang out with, though we already see each other a lot with games, practices, physical conditioning so I don't really want to overcrowd him. It's probably only a matter of time before Atsumu sets Hinata down the random hookup every night path like he did with me. Maybe I shouldn't just rely on the gods to have heard my Negai. I've been staying out of trouble since the new year waiting for them to let me finally met someone special, but it wouldn't hurt to put my hopes in as many places as I can.

April 14th
Great here come the girls already, can't even so much as get a shower after the game before they are swarming. "Bokuto-San, hi my name i-" "Sorry ladies I'm in a bit of a hurry." There are a few groans as I push past them to head to the showers. "Forgive Bokuto-San ladies, he's just not feeling himself lately. Did you enjoy the game?" The giggles surrounding Atsumu and Hinata only grow louder somehow as I put more space between myself and them. When I finally make it out of the gym the silence welcomes me first like a friend and then like the enemy it really is. Stepping from the showers Hinata comes in and watches as I place my Omamori back around my neck with care. "Bokuto, when did you get that love charm?" I held the little blue pouch in my hand tight. "A month ago. I asked to find someone who loves me for who I am at Hatsumode, but after three months of no luck I thought I'd go back to the same shrine and ask for the Omamori." His expression changed from curiosity to confusion. "How can you find love if you ignore every girl who talks to you?" "Those girls only want to talk to me because I'm a wing spiker on a pro team. They would be just as happy to talk to you or anyone other player. They don't care about who we are, only what we do. It's fine for you, but I'm just tired of being alone." He nods not saying anything instead getting ready for a shower. "How about we get dinner after I'm cleaned up?" He isn't taking a girl home tonight? "Hey, hey, heyyy, sounds great, let's get some MEAT!" He gives me that big friendly Hinata smile then heads for the showers leaving me to sit and wait for him. Should I try talking to some of these girls? Maybe I'm judging them to quickly just because of all the ones that came before. There could very well be one among them who only came to see me and wishes she could learn everything about me.

June 14th
Walking out into the warm night air feels so good after a long day, the balcony of my apartment is probably my favorite place to pass the time in the summer. It'll be Hinatas birthday soon, I just hope this Inn Atsumu chose will really offer the privacy they claim it will, it'll be nice to spend a week just relaxing and not having to worry about fans. Well it's not the fans I mind really. It's the damn girls, I keep trying to avoid them, but some days are hard. Six months into the new year and I've indulged in having a girl for a night 4 times now. It's a huge improvement over 3 or 4 times a week, but I worry my failure might be enough to anger the gods and make them decide not to grant my heart's desire. Good thing I've also visited a few fountains. Who the hell is knocking at my door this late? "Hey Bokuto, figured you'd be in. I brought beer, can I come in?" The bleached blonde looks sincere. "Sure come on in, I was just sitting out on the balcony. Cold beer might be nice." He nods coming in and removing his shoes before following me to the balcony. I take a seat and he follows suit before pulling a beer from the plastic rings and handing me one. "Thanks Atsumu" I open the can, take a long sip then lean back in my seat looking up at the sky just in time to spot a shooting star. Perfect! I close my eyes tight grabbing hold of the Omamori and repeat my Negai word for word. "Please, let me meet someone who doesn't care about me being a pro player. Let her love me for who I am." I can feel Atsumus eyes on me before I even open my eyes again.

"You really think all this good luck stuff will help you meet a woman?" I can't decide if he's going to make fun of me again so I don't say anything. "Look man, I hope it works out for you if that's what you want, but if it doesn't try not to dwell on it. You have your friends. We all like you for who you are." I smile, that much is true at least. Even Sakusa comes by to keep me company from time to time, even if he does bring a can of Lysol with him and spray all my stuff, it's nice to have someone to talk to. Akaashi and Kuroo call at least once a week, and we all text each other every few days just to check in. "I never really stopped to think about how being the youngest in my family meant that I was rarely home alone. My parents, my sisters, someone was always around. It's too quite especially at night. I didn't have to think about it much at first. Girls, Parties, games. I had more than enough distractions. But they were all over with sooner or later. It's nice you guys coming by sometimes, but I miss doing stuff. Sitting in here all the time avoiding the fan girls it's boring." He nods with a far off look on his face. "The girl that works at the Inn sounded young and cute." No idea why he's telling me that. "We're renting the whole place but there will still be girls there you know, the ones that work there. It might not be true love, but you can maybe at least see what it's like to fuck the same girl twice if you bring some of that famous Bokuto charm with you on the trip." I am pretty damn charming. I don't know though the gods are watching, I have to prove I'm worth the love I'm asking for.